There are more things in Heaven …
I believe in curses and blessings.
And I blame the media.
I believe that when my father tells me “daughter, I bless you”, I am cocooned with at least one level of security against all them nasty things that are plotting for my downfall.
Not delusions of grandeur or paranoia that there’s a mass of people out there just waiting to get me… Just a safety belt from all the potential ill will that you inevitably generate from waking up and getting out of your house every morning.
I’m scared of being cursed by an old woman. Remember the history book in primary school where there was an old woman pointing at a young person in all their youthful vigor and saying “every banana leaf dries in the end”? Scurred of that too. See me, I was thrust in my grandmother’s (metaphorical) bosom when I was a child and she instilled the fear of “irumi” (curses) on me.
I so blame the media.
Then, every time I see an owl (stupid mofo living next door has an owl sculpture proudly hanging near my porch)…. And you wonder why I’m so unlucky in love.
I blame the owl this time.
Seriously, the few times I’ve seen an owl, something foul happened the next day… (see I could have said “something fowl happened to me” but I’m managing an English professor who does not look too kindly on puns)… I failed my vector analysis class the one time. The other time, I was in a car accident. The other time, someone passed away.
Still blame the owl.
I’m uncertain about whether bad luck ends when your mrogi is dead or if it persists because he is dead.
Huh?
Lemmie explain.
See, my father’s side of the family says that “Kaĩ mũrogi ũcio wakũrogire akuire?” (kwani that mrogi who done did cursed you died?) when the bad luck ends. As death has put an end to his entire mischief making. But my mum’s side says that “Mũrogi ũcio waku nĩakwire” (Witchdoctor done kicked the bucket tayari) when the bad luck persists. For them, you can’t escape the total balaa as you cannot appease the mrogi as he is dead hence, Q.E.D. said corpse cannot undo the damn curse.
I blame the mrogi – dead or alive as the case might be…
Wrapping it up….
There’s so much stuff out there that I can sit down and scoff at e.g. I know that when I get sick, there’s a sound scientific reason behind it… I was bitten by a female Anopheles mosquito with the malaria microbes. Which then incubated in my blood stream, hatched and I got sick. Ergo…
I blame the mosquito.
But!!! But!!!! Is there something to the question that might be asked “Off all the gin bodies in the world- why did the mosquito choose to bite me?”
Eh?? Eh???
I blame the media in this case.
Cue music Msanii: There is superstition. Writing’s on the wall”
“Ill will,” huh? Nicely put. [Nas is one of my favorite rappers BTW]
I’d say the media isn’t to blame, as much as I’d want them to be. Neither is the owl, the mrogi or the malaria-laden female anopheles mosquito. I’d think it’s easier to blame it all on the devil. That not only reminds us the source of all evil, but it’s a lot more comforting thinking that we aren’t directly to blame for our own… er …. f*ck-ups.
If it makes u feel any better, & I hope it does, 2004 was my year from hell. Not only were the finances at an all-time low, but I had 4 accidents that year, none of them my fault, but had to pay the deductible on all of them - you do the math - coz 2 of them were hit & runs and I wasn’t the one driving the other 2 times.
But life being the sine curve that it is, I bounced back from that. Nothing bad lasts forever. I’d like to think good things do tho!
Oooh well caught— see I was dicing about whether I should throw in Biggie’s “they pray, they pray.. and pray and pray for my downfall” but that sounds too full of myself… so went with Nasir Jones
Comment by >d® — February 16, 2006 @ 4:52 am
LOOOOOOOOL. I KNOW THAT BOOK WITH THE OLD WOMAN I SWURR!!!!Please don’ get me started about owls!! eeek! niwaguruka fiu by the way. And where does your kyuk get the tu ngofias? mine is bila!
Dadangu sasa!! he he— see the thing is this was largely tongue in cheek i.e. the BS meter was off the charts when I was writing this… but a ka-small part of me is mildly apprehensive of owls and dem… you know? Tũgũfia is courtesy of the Kyuk Keyboard initiative
Seriously– go to word and hook it up (on the symbols thingie and then insert your short cut key).
See? Clear as mud
)
Comment by KM — February 16, 2006 @ 5:24 am
KM: I believe the tu gofias (as you put it so eloquently) can be found on the same aisle as the brack condoms (courtesy of Mentalacrobatics).
Now I see why a certain person wanted me to be a mundu mugo-in training. Not sure even that can help with the urogi. (But I have connections to arogi from both sides of the family, so I will throw bones.)
Gotta love Mental ama? LOL @ your comment
See now, multi-tasking is a virtue- not a vice so throw them bones already bro! This is a request from your
managerliterary agent.Dang! That literary thing has me sounding so clever and such
Comment by Keguro — February 16, 2006 @ 12:54 pm
LOLOL
Those shenz-type owls unleashing all manner of ugliness visually and bad luck lovewise…
Methinks there shud be a worldwide initiative to extinct(ify) owls… Something like “Lets unite to make OWLS go AWOL”
Hehehehe - this post had me laughing…
Milo!!! Oooh still can’t believe that you’re back. LOL ati ” AWOL for Owls: Fowls are Foul”: Milo- you are so hired! Lakini there might be western backlash as they think that owls are full of wisdom over here.
Go figure!
Comment by Milo — February 16, 2006 @ 2:00 pm
Yes much as science can explain lottsa things but not everything!As for you and owls pole, ongea nicely and I can arrange a ka-reverse hex for you like this.I have some skills that could be of use to you.Lakini can you afford?ps:owls rock with their necks that can swivel 360%!Though they still come second to black cats!
See now (in a ka-drawling voice) you are so my people.
Not to be tribal or anything- but kao is very desirable right now…. now they have skills. So here goes….
Edited Personal ad:
mutumia (alt version) sought… should be able to un-hex (core competency)
…. should have some serious other skills (preferred and very desirable)
Send e-mail to Mutumia (proper noun) with a picture and resume.
Comment by acolyte — February 16, 2006 @ 2:46 pm
Whenever I come here, I feel like I am in another world - where in hell do you get all this stuff (you still didnt answer my question about joining the Mutumia Keguro partnership - I need to brush up my literal skills…
@Milo - extinctify? Awol Owls? Guys stop using foul language to extinctify owls… See, I cant even sound half as literal as any of you - I blame the owl
When my grandmother ‘blessed’ last christmas, I felt sooooo blessed - that nothing can touch me now -
so I know how you feel…
Ninjúi múndú múgo, etagwo múgo - lol trying to check our my tujufia works…
See now, I know what you mean by grandma’s blessings. That is so.on.point. I can’t even lie. As for the other— do you wanna be the Swahili connection? You can give us swa adult ttiles (he he he) ‘cause I’m a product of Mtaa meets shags (the horror!) and as for prof… one word “ndoto”
LOL at your tu-hats on the Us and the Is…. I’ve got skills son! He he he
Comment by Guessaurus — February 16, 2006 @ 4:28 pm
that was check out if my tukufia work, and of course, they dont
(
Comment by Guessaurus — February 16, 2006 @ 4:30 pm