Tapo
So tagged was I…. so here goes…
1. Favorite Kenya Food
Coasto food (pilau, samos, avocado juice…)
2. Favorite Kenyan Drink
Soup (from goat heads) w/ those bitter herbs
3. Favourite Kenyan TV Programme
Fred Obachi Machoka’s one (for the excess, extravagance, over-the-top utter WTF?!dness)
4. Top 3 Kenyan Hangouts
Churascos
Buffet Park
Gikeno Inn (iss a local / karumaindo )
5. Top Holiday Kenyan Destination
Island camp Lake Baringo
6. 3 Kenyan phrases you use a lot (ati, nini, nani DO NOT count and neither does bilaz!)
-Ngai Baba!
-Atĩ (diff. spelling)
-”Bana!! Clearly! Yaani? Heee . Tsk ”
7. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
-Over-willingness to take the jungu “Oh black people is so lazy” mantra and run with it…
-Delusions that your “Kenyan-ness” gives you amnesty… if you be whupping your woman—- I WILL encourage her to call the cops. I’ll hold her hand and dial the number for her too. Kenyan or no Kenyan. Foul is foul. I make no apologies for it.
-Admiration for the children of thieves
8. Three things non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
-”Why is Mugabe being soo difficult?”— “I don’t know- why was Ra.do.van Kara.d.zic such a p*ick? Don’t know either? Go figure”.
-Wow! Your English is so good!
-You aren’t like most Africans
9. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans which non-Kenyans ought to know.
-Generalizations about Kenya based on a 3 week tour of [insert other african Country] are about as useful as me going to Mexico and talking about New York.
-The BBC is not the Bible. Just cause the Beeb said it, don’t make it so. Ditto the NY Times and the Small Town Herald.
-Um…. We do know something about “Africa”— you don’t have to break it down to me why Kenyans fought for independence.
10. Complete this sentence: I am Kenyan because…..
… I’m Kenyan not just because I was born there- but because I dig it.
It’s because when I’m in Kenya, the land resonates within me ‘cause all this stuff- the mundane, the trivial, the important is inescapably me.. y’know? The Upusi-olgy that everyone pulls, because every Christmas the country shuts down for 2 weeks in December, because ‘transportation’ in Lamu is donkey (or donkey ), it’s because Kimathi Street is not just a street name— it’s also named after D. Kimathi; it’s for the Indian, Arabic, English and African influences in “Kenyan cuisine”, it’s my family, it’s McMillan library, it’s Island Camp in Lake Baringo where the crocs are allegedly vegetarian, it’s because of the old men drinking kahawa chungu in Old-Town Mombasa, it’s my friends, it’s Chester House on Koinange street … It’s all that and more. But it’s also simply because, I just am.
I have looked at your #2. You’re harsh!
#7.seems that laziness tag on black ppl esp akataas gets to you!I could talk from what I have seen huku in the south lakini….As for whupping women I have no time for ppl who do it and women who put up with it.As for jungus wtf does “You aren’t like most Africans” mean?I love your answer to #10!Anyhow I gotta groom your owl!Later!!!
LOL @ grooming my owl-especially when you remember what K. refers to as “OWL” LOL again…
Comment by acolyte — February 17, 2006 @ 5:45 pm
Yay for Buffet Park!!!
Ati Upusi-ology ROTFL… Fred Obachi Machoka was a star!!!
Ditto Aco on number 2 LOLOLOLOLOL
Me? I lurrved that Buffet Park… it was so yaaayyy!!
Comment by Milo — February 18, 2006 @ 9:51 am
I’d love to collect all the responses to 10 (including Acostigator’s current posting on being away) and publish them, along with M’s super-long posting and responses. Now who do we know who owns a magazine and is willing to devote an issue to Kenyans in the diaspora . . . hmmm.
You’re the literary agent. Think on it.
I love it! More people to get 12% from… Did I ever tell you that you are my favorite and bestest client? Yes you are….
Comment by Keguro — February 18, 2006 @ 11:06 am
Like the last answer maam u gave it right.. Lool Croc’s vegetarians..
Thanks Nakeel… that storo is true– ati they used to eat water hyacinth??!!
Comment by Nakeel — February 18, 2006 @ 2:52 pm
Spoken like a true Kenyan no 10. Your blog has been eating my comments eh!
Aki pole sana Prou— I am still dating this blog and I haven’t quite figured it out yet…. Lakini I’ll see if I can fix some of the ‘matters arising”
Comment by Prou — February 18, 2006 @ 3:41 pm
Thufu!
Re-Co-Go-NIZE!!!
Comment by Whispering Inn — February 18, 2006 @ 6:17 pm
I only just realised you moved. Nice digz you’ll be seeing me around.
upusi - ology ai!
Thanks for visiting. Ingalau I was evicted from former digz…
Comment by farmgal — February 19, 2006 @ 9:17 am
This !(#$(&@$&!@$ won’t allow me to subscribe via bloglines. Is there a setting you can tweak?
You know, that whole business of adding you to my bloglist manually will take three more clicks than I’m willing to make.
Um… let me ponder on this and see what I have to do (?? very befuddled as to what that actually means and I have to fix but I’ll work on it this weekend and let you know…) Pole and thanks for wanting to add me to your honor roll *blush*
Comment by Keguro — February 19, 2006 @ 9:16 pm
Seriously…ati Gikeno!! and thufu of head of goat!!! LOL, Ngai Njezuz! By the way, You been away toooo dang long!! Churascoa became Kwetu kitambo…and that kwetu went out of bizna!!! Tafuta anaaa joint!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Oh dear! You know you’re drinking too much at an establishment when your absence costs the bizna its steadiest form of revenue. Grandiose and full of myself statements aside, that is very sad news…. yaani the Guacamole and steaks of Churasscos was off the hook! I’ve tried to eat in kadha Chilean restos in DC. , Bosto, NYC…. lakini that one remains off the hook for sure, for sure!!
Comment by KM — February 20, 2006 @ 10:52 am
congrats on the new spot.
like “coz every dec the country shuts down for 2 weeks” (while the matatu guys cash-in)
Thanks Adrian… So true— kwanza Machakos Airport? Veritable cash cow!
Comment by Adrian — February 20, 2006 @ 10:49 pm
Admiration for the children of thieves!! OMG- I made this very same comment over the weekend..and you know there’s plenty of those Wanugu*lets in MD/DC..Its funny when they introduce themselves by surname, and eagerly wait for the response( Is your dad nani wa nani?)..lol Oh, I’m soo impressed-NOT!
Hooray for Thubu!
See this made me laugh—- ‘cause I could visualize the scene!!! “Mutumia [pedestrian name here], my name is [Ali Baba Jr.]”
and then they chill. Then again
“I didn’t catch your [plebian] name. Mine is [Wanugu Jr.]”
— er, OK….
Comment by Medusa — February 21, 2006 @ 3:08 am
Admiration for the children of thieves
Did you hear when Rasta kufad the guys of his mtaa thought the half mast for princess Diana was to honour his death.
lol
He he he … and when [insert ‘Govt. workers whose children are living large hukus from stealing supplies to hospitals ‘ names here] are like “yeah— my dad is the tender officer of ??? , this is my ride” — Um… OK….
Comment by Shiroh — February 21, 2006 @ 2:36 pm
Fred Obachi Machoka, “the Blackest Man In Black Africa”. Music Time (Sunday 8:00 Kenyan Mean Time) was just the shiznit back in the day!
M, you know you haven’t lied… Now imagine Machoka followed by Kaleli wa Musyoka (or sum’n) … My week was made!
Comment by m — February 22, 2006 @ 7:09 am
Dear Manager:
On the matter of a certain photograph. It has come to my attention that even close family members, who have seen photographs of me all my life, believe that photograph is accurate. They now demand copies.
I respectfully urge you to secure the copyright so we can use it as an author photograph on the book contract you still need to secure me.
Yours respectfully,
your client who sleeps for 3 hours a night and lives on coffee and tea
Keguro— this is too funny!! Ati you’re trying to deny the photo??? Seriously though— would you be offended if I said that I saw it and I thought “KEGURO!!!!”— (as in spoof/ satire-wise kinda sorta like calling Little John of Robin Hood “Little”… )… he he he . Book deal is coming up….. and not on vagi??? sucks (LOL at that one…. tsk, tsk and then tsk again)
Comment by Keguro — February 23, 2006 @ 11:15 am
oh i love pilau, samosa’s, but girl….avocado juice????? does it even exist??
Kip… aka my neighbor at the coast… It’s like this thick, viscous juice and it’s usually like coconut milk and some sort of other fresh fruit juice and then it has blended avocado in it— sounds gross— looks and tastes like a dream… If anyone has the recipe… I’ll give good $$$ for that… Seriously.
Comment by kipepeo — February 23, 2006 @ 1:48 pm
I mix lots of fruit, avocado, banana, orange, kiwi and yoghurt and make the dreamiest ‘goo’ - ok, blend for breakfast when a** can be ..er… arsed to leave bed early - try it (you need to own a blender though - and know that it needs to be lid covered tight when blending unless you want a facial for you and your kitchen first thing in the morning LOLOL - yes, experience teaches us that…. )
‘Karumaindo?’ Muts, you crazy! But that made me laugh coz I know one too…
And thufu - Ngai baba (the correct spelling this time, recognise the seriousness) - Had some last xmas which dad made, I wish I had bottled, frozen, refridgerated, powdered, defridgerated, sacked, couriered, deplaned, rehoused, fridgerated, de-bottled, de-powdered (did the bottling come before powdering? Houston!) watered, heated, cupped, sat with, and sipped happily on my couch (G, stop dreaming) Sorry Muts…
PS: You blog doesnt like Black Non-American people
He he he — I tried once to cover my blender with a ka-plastic zip lock (round) container as I wasn’t feeling like dirtying the lid ( long story— involves brushes and stuff) and woi!! Yaani my walls and counter-tops were the most exfoliated surfaces in my area!! I scrubbed for days. The moral of the story is Wakinabe Yokosiba knows his business. If he suggests you use a lid— please use a lid. Now those London airports? Me I fear them (and loathe them too)… customs guys are just crap— they treat you too deadli-ly bad (and I thought that US airports were bad after that incident— nah!! Those Brits gave me the full colonic sans latex gloves treatment…. so good luck shipping bovine by-products here
Comment by Guessaurus — February 23, 2006 @ 3:49 pm
:d I dont know whether its because I am ‘British’ but when I come back I dont even get to say hello - its like - get your ass back in the country you globetrotting wannabe and get back to work, we need to get paid and your taxes are needed (or something to that effect)
Now, those bin loving (or hating) guys over at yours the last two times I have been over game me a colonic, and the latex gloves -I think they left the kid gloves at home, they knew i was coming… I have a hate-hate relationship with them and I am reporting their uncouth behaviour to the Queen. She is a personal friend. One needs to treat one’s subjects with respect and dignity, otherwise one will list one’s country as an enemy of one’s Kingdom (justsayingisall
)
Comment by Guessaurus — February 25, 2006 @ 10:33 pm