wierd thing is…
OK so I was tagged… my wierd stuff? Hmmmm… Putting only the PG version here it go.
1) I’m abnormally scared of burrowing things. Like I wake up at night drenched in a sweat scared to death that a guinea worm got me. D-shy’s Blog entry of that mama who had things in her boob seriously traumatized me. Like I was unable to go home without scratching and itching and checking my hands and feet to see what larvae was popping out of my skin. *brrrrr*. ‘Cause of this, it took me forever before I could convince myself to get a pedicure as they use communal whirlpool foot baths which are just - well gross. I still have to forcibly force myself to put insert my foot in that thing as I’m scared that I’m gonna get maggots and stuff from the person who got the pedicure before me.
2) I cannot sleep with any door open in my room. I mean, any door- the closet doors, the chest of drawers, main door etc. all have to be kabisa shut and the edges aligned ama I’ll wake up at night to close the damn things.
3) I don’t know if this is weird or not- but I cannot tell left from right- or tell you what 7 +5 is. Now what did I do for my under-grad? Yup! You got it. Math and Geography (including cartography). Go figure!
4) I have this habit of sometimes, sometimes, sometimes… having a do-over of people’s conversations as they speak. What does this mean? I mean, say you’re telling me a story and I think “hmmmm it could have been improved if you instead of using Kosovo as the example, you’d used Cambodia”… I will then insert Cambodia into every thing that you’re saying and change the details of the conversation as you go along. I do this with books too when I’ll look at the direction a book is taking and say “Hell no! It won’t go down like this” and then give the characters new dialogue, motivation, lights-camera-action. It makes me speak slower than I normally do as I have to take this through 2 layers of translation: What I’m thinking they should have said and what they actually said. And then input my (translated) response into my ongoing conversation.
5) You and I know that with the right jamaa strokes are beautiful and with the exception of a few things, pretty much anything goes. However, the idea of strokes is vaguely gross to me. I know, I know. You know, like how before you get in a pool, you hold your breath and then jump in. Yup- same thing with the strokage. For a fraction of a section— or if the guy is hot- a fraction of a fraction of a second multiplied by planck’s constant 
) I have to mentally say “OK. Let’s get this show on the road”– and after that, then I’m fine. Once I know a jamaa (bibilically), then it’s all good. Until then, I think of all the grossness associated with strokes (if done right!) - the liquids that get swopped, the generally unhygienic and unsanitary licking and probing and — yeah…. it can be a bit much.
Um… as for number 6, let’s just say the guys with strait jackets will come and get me if I confess to this. Not so wierd after all am I?
i have the same thing pertainin to kissing…only during that sensuos time is it earth shattering but the thought if it can make me puke.
for some years as well i coudlnt do such math as well 8+5 i actually had to do that thing of put 8 n ur head and add them fingers…heh heh heh
You are so on the money on that one… it’s pinch your nose, take deep breath, dive in.. comme ca. As for counting— wacha tuu! There was this one time when I was curled up with my vector analysis text book and I had to add like 37 and 54 and I’m actually putting my lips to my fingers to mark off each number as I count… then someone looked at the book and it was full of delta psi gamma to the power of something integrated (never differentiated) and I was told to stop fronting– ati i don’t go to Campu, and that is NOT my book. I actually work at the Museum hill shops selling clothes
Haters every last one of them
Comment by Nick — June 28, 2006 @ 7:18 pm
uuu yeah im second as well…kasweety please change my url on ur links to the new one…muchos loves
No doubt spidey– consider it done…
Comment by Nick — June 28, 2006 @ 7:19 pm
Ah second place!First things first hun, i before e except after c!
You and my small sis are in the same boat!She can’t tell the diff between left and right!
As for the strokes thing, I guess you are not alone in that split second thought.Because when you think of it, shag is pretty gross!
Anyway let me leave you to edit my comment so it can sound so much better!
OMG! I knew I’d get into trouble for this— not every conversation… it’s especially pompus pple who usually end up with me doing this… Aki woiye! Si you know your comments are the bomb my babydaddyexfuturehubbyhomieloverfriend?
Comment by acolyte — June 28, 2006 @ 7:36 pm
lol aco.. i before e… lol.. killer…. thats funny!
Anyway, that picture on D-Shy’s blog… was a topic of conversation and ickiness at my office for one whole week… as in we had by the water cooler discussions about it…. ick!!!
I so hear you abt the grossness of the strokage… Im with you on that one 100%…..
Yes indeed.. D-shy’s mama is the one who should have been dipped in the Nyando 7 times (KM, 2006) … That was gross beyond belief like thithi central…. As for Aco’s comment, no comment.
Comment by Movie Buff — June 28, 2006 @ 7:47 pm
Every time I read strokes I think of swimming. I’m not sure that’s an appropriate reaction. But it’s what I have.
Breast stroke I hope— as crawl and butterfly sound very uncomfortable no? Sasa prof?
Comment by Keguro — June 28, 2006 @ 8:58 pm
yup strokes are icky…like when was the last time they flossed? and many other thoughts that are too much for me…just one of those things where ignorance is total bliss!!! and i cant sleep with open things too!!!
You see? So my sister form another mother (d, 2005-6)!!! I hate open doors!! Re cleanliness/strokes, the key is to not think about it sana. If you do? Or worse, if you’re read a tropical parasites book and then … kwanza that shower has to be first present and accounted for walhai. I swuurr!!!! (KM, 2006). Nevah evah gonna urghhhhhh…. Like this gross story that I heard but I’ll post it as a comment on D-shy’s
Comment by kipepeo — June 28, 2006 @ 9:48 pm
LMAO!! Mutumia, I am so tempted to leave ___ spaces so that you can ____ them in as we go along, lol..okay i know what you are saying, tiga wana D-Shy..he he..Muts, if it helps, mpaka wa leo I feel magigi when i remember that video when those maggots were being chucked from that mamas breast..im wish..wish!! i could reboot my mind and clear it of that image haki so to you, your feet all the mamas akina Movie Buff i say sorree lol and do what i do and sema im covered ni thakame ya Jesu..
Oh and being marinated is a non starter for me, three years bila strokes and counting, I can feel my vulva retracting into my body and the gates swinging shut even as i speak of it…woi ni mahoya na erotic stories tu that will solve these issues..lol..
Thekete maa! Ati blank spaces… Ok, OK, I’ma get you for that only we have more serious problems to deal with here. 3 years you say? *assuming a thoughtful Dr. Makujua expression* Now surely, you have had this condition for 3 years!!!! Damn girl!!! Haiya!!! Like … wah! I’ma pass this on ‘To the team” ( even me I’m stumped)… but i will ask this– is it true that in the 2nd year, you are able to converse in Greek and the mysteries of the universe are revealed to you? If so, please hook me up with the answer as to why toast falls on the buttered side first… Tafadhali. Please… I reaaaallly want to know. He he he he
Comment by Dangerouslyshy — June 28, 2006 @ 11:49 pm
I see am not the only one traumatised by D_Shy’s boob pic. I even revealed to a fellow KBW that I was unable to get that ikky image out of mind & it messed up my appetite. Couldn’t go anywhere near macaroni, pinto beans or even rice without picturing that image. Lemme go gurgle now!!!
That weird thing you have for doors is something I share expect for my bedroom door which always stays open when I sleep.
A “do-over of people’s conversations”!? Bet you’ve been doing that to all my comments & emails,huh? So what words do you replace in my convo? LOL!
LOL Aikey. Yes, I do replace some of your words e.g. when you day “I really like you - as a friend” , I hear/ insert “You so rock Muts.. you are the bomb. For you I would —————-” he he he… As for that leaving the door open? wow!! I know one person who does that! and she swears that she’s gonna do something to deal with it… Haiya!!! What do you know?
Comment by akiey — June 29, 2006 @ 3:09 am
I know!! about the boob thing on Dshy. I scratches my ghair off aki…I kept checking my booob…heebie jeebies….the works!! Ugggghh!
Halafu kamum,I also cannot stand people who do not close doors SHUT behind them….I Know! I do wake up at night to close doors, wipe coffee stains, clean the house, straighten the bathroom rug….etc. Sigh!
About strokes….ngai, dont make me pick that up cos me i feel nuthing!
LOOL@ ‘OK. lets do this”.
How U be babe?
Me be fine sweetie kwanza come here ((((((KM)))))). that’s to make up for not being a good friend jana when you were sad and all
Then I’m so laughing at jamaaz lock when he wakes up and finds you cleaning toothpaste stains and closing doors in all your glorious nudity! I so know how that happens. You wake up to go close the bathroom door, you notice the toilet seat is up, you put it down, wipe the toilet seat, see toothpaste on the sink, wipe it off, notice that the faucets look a bit un-shiny.. next thing you know, you have windowlene a lesso and you are wiping down the front door at 2.37 in the morning.
*sigh*
Comment by KM — June 29, 2006 @ 5:08 am
Auiiiiiiiii the men with the strait jactkets are on their way!!! Ati WHAT?
You know a guy called…. what’s that guys name, nappydiatribe? Yeah him. You guys are a match! Ati you have to steel yourself before you dive in? LOL
A guy pal of mine once told me how he thinks sex is dirty and gross and I sat there wondering how much I’d get from Mathare for him.
But now that I think about it, I will not put a man’s dick in my mouth unless its steady AND I approve of his hygiene tabias. Kwanza there’s that musty smell balls get after a day cooped up in briefs!! YUCK!!!
Woi, woi, woi!!! Ati steady!!!! You know how as tois we used to say “Muigai has steadied” and then stare at the poor guy who had his hands in his pocket to hide the ensuing tenting ha! ha! ha! From now on, I will attribute this statement to you. He he he he he he … Is this what they calla fredian slip? As for musty balls - yeah… they be funky! and very not near my mouth (or other areas… my youknowwhat is a pet. It’s only used to nice things that are clean and happy! It’s not for working– it’s for petting and purring and staying in the house. he he he ati steadied!!!
On the same vein, si pussies really smell like ngege? No? Oh ok, just me then.
I was told this ka-joke once ati “how do you confuse a blind lesbian?’ Answer: tell her to find her partner in a fish market. I know– not worthy. But here’s one more… After Eve is created, she’s showering in the sea. So God asks Adam- ebu you where’s your squeeze? And Adam say’s ‘hitting a shower” So then God says “Oh no!!!! Now all the fishes will smell like her”
*thank you, thank you. I will be here all week”
About that maggots thing, I will NOT touch it!
Comment by Ms K — June 29, 2006 @ 6:44 am
LOL unless its steady!!! I meant unless its a steady relationship. Ti hi hi shaking dick!
Too late!!!! *dancing on one foot laughing* You are too late— it’s imprinted in my memory!!!
Comment by Ms K — June 29, 2006 @ 6:46 am
@ Missy!
Yuuuuuukkkkk!! Yukk @ sucking a dirty/foreign dick haki.
Halafu…Oh wait..**gags**
Halafuuu…LOOOOOL@ ’steady’…me I was laready picturing sa flaccid one like now aje? woii, can you say ED?
Woman, you is mad!!!
Halafuuu, ngege ni nduu?
ngege ni samaki sweetie baby. As for the alien chuma-hiu near mouth activity?! Ta-imagini you’ll still see like on the first niniyo someone shaking stuff near you like “hook it up” (or even asking) eh…. tiga mbaki kanda… Not happening … I don’t know you like that ( I know…. I know, I actually do know him like that– but you know… not really)…
Comment by KM — June 29, 2006 @ 10:35 am
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. ‘kANDA’. havent heard that word in a minute!!!
Tehe, eti tiga mbaki…..lmao.
Washana…nyaus dont smell like ngege haki…would they eat it with so much mojo if it did? Really?
Lakini the sawa healthy ones don’t. The ones that you had to sit between as you had your hair traumatically plaited as a toi did. Did I tell you I was the number 3 underwater swimmer in my primo ‘coz of those skills I picked up of holding my breath? Don’t play… I’m the unadulterated… er. OK… I could hold my breath dammit!
Halafu, I have this friend of mine who tells me when he is at his girls, I ask what is he doing, he goes “eating fish”…**slapping self like only 10 times**…sooo that what he meant.!! Sigh!!
Now you know
Tehe, even mine Kamum is “for petting and purring and staying in the house”…LOOL, I think i will tell someone that…wait, Nope! I gat no one me, and I am so not having my samaki eaten..now how?
You know— it doens’t go for walks in strange nighborhoods and it eats
Besbix- what? weetabix and dem. None of this bones from the butchery even if jamaa has steadied (Ms. K, 2006!!!!!!!).LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@ “hook it up” . ROTFL….I know.
Halafu…You wake up to go close the bathroom door, you notice the toilet seat is up, you put it down, wipe the toilet seat, see toothpaste on the sink, wipe it off, notice that the faucets look a bit un-shiny.. next thing you know, you have windowlene a lesso and you are wiping down the front door at 2.37 in the morning.
Phew! I am not so weird. You know I do that!! seriouslyy!!! the whole noticing one then the other etc etc..faaark, then you hop into bed, cold hands and all and he goes “where have you been?” You say “just cleaning”…(I wanted to make a convo, but you go do it. Edit it for me Kamum)
*biting knuckle and glaring at KM in a threatening manner* Haki ya nani nakewekea ‘wanted!” ebu weka conversation hapo!!!!! I knew I shouldn’t have elaborated on that… It’s when falas especially are telling jokes that were circulated when Kenyatta and Nkuruma were still president and they are botching them… I know I ain’t all that but surely tell a 20 year old joke properly nahmean?
Cheers for the hugs sana sweetie babie(tihi) but you know me and kataliaring on bosoms mpaka my friends have to go like “errrm, Kamum, sawa now”..Pffft
He he he now I know how we’ll do it… to spot KM’s jamaa (once you get off the train *giggo giggo*) look for the jamaa with kilometric on his shirt. Seriously though, that storo of yours chekeshad me like a mutha. You are so my peoples KM kusema kweli hakiyanyanya…
PS. Can you see D-Shy putting disclaimers right. left and center? Ati “it wasn’t on purpose, the devil made me do it?” Do you see how many people she traumatized? Wah!!! That page was OFF!!!!!!!! Then we have to have a committee of people who like and repsect her to - you know, find an omundhu strong to alleviate her condition. That whole John Donne for whom the bell tolls saga etcetera etcetera… we’ll ask Msanii to hook up a ka-podcast with —sing along with me “If my brother’s in trouble, I will always help him out… If my brother’s in trouble so am IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” - ebu KM, keep clapping and stop taking the hottest ones for yourself… this is serious business.
Comment by KM — June 29, 2006 @ 2:18 pm
Now after reading all those comments especially by KM, I had to vibe.Yes the fish market smell is true but the degree does differ from mama.
Some dudes angukia with psyke coz you have to take one for the team you know?I had a pal of mine who used to duck duty on the lawn by telling a mama he has an allergy to vaginal fluids.Another pal of mine used to have dreams of waking up with a green swollen tongue after gardening duty.
As for Aco and window washing…..no comment!
Aco wewe! why am I laughing at gardening duty? Here’s something that you can take home w/ you as a handout.
If you got a ‘fro? You gots to go..
Five o’clock shadows are acceptable in a pinch.
(peep medusa’s tales !) are the way to go.
Comment by acolyte — June 30, 2006 @ 3:52 am