Aco wewe! why am I laughing at gardening duty? Here’s something that you can take home w/ you as a handout.

If you got a ‘fro? You gots to go..

Five o’clock shadows are acceptable in a pinch.
(peep medusa’s tales !) are the way to go.

Lakini the sawa healthy ones don’t. The ones that you had to sit between as you had your hair traumatically plaited as a toi did. Did I tell you I was the number 3 underwater swimmer in my primo ‘coz of those skills I picked up of holding my breath? Don’t play… I’m the unadulterated… er. OK… I could hold my breath dammit!

Halafu, I have this friend of mine who tells me when he is at his girls, I ask what is he doing, he goes “eating fish”…**slapping self like only 10 times**…sooo that what he meant.!! Sigh!!

Now you know

Tehe, even mine Kamum is “for petting and purring and staying in the house”…LOOL, I think i will tell someone that…wait, Nope! I gat no one me, and I am so not having my samaki eaten..now how?

You know— it doens’t go for walks in strange nighborhoods and it eats Besbix - what? weetabix and dem. None of this bones from the butchery even if jamaa has steadied (Ms. K, 2006!!!!!!!).
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@ “hook it up” . ROTFL….I know.

Halafu…You wake up to go close the bathroom door, you notice the toilet seat is up, you put it down, wipe the toilet seat, see toothpaste on the sink, wipe it off, notice that the faucets look a bit un-shiny.. next thing you know, you have windowlene a lesso and you are wiping down the front door at 2.37 in the morning.

Phew! I am not so weird. You know I do that!! seriouslyy!!! the whole noticing one then the other etc etc..faaark, then you hop into bed, cold hands and all and he goes “where have you been?” You say “just cleaning”…(I wanted to make a convo, but you go do it. Edit it for me Kamum)

*biting knuckle and glaring at KM in a threatening manner* Haki ya nani nakewekea ‘wanted!” ebu weka conversation hapo!!!!! I knew I shouldn’t have elaborated on that… It’s when falas especially are telling jokes that were circulated when Kenyatta and Nkuruma were still president and they are botching them… I know I ain’t all that but surely tell a 20 year old joke properly nahmean?

Cheers for the hugs sana sweetie babie(tihi) but you know me and kataliaring on bosoms mpaka my friends have to go like “errrm, Kamum, sawa now”..Pffft

He he he now I know how we’ll do it… to spot KM’s jamaa (once you get off the train *giggo giggo*) look for the jamaa with kilometric on his shirt. Seriously though, that storo of yours chekeshad me like a mutha. You are so my peoples KM kusema kweli hakiyanyanya…

PS. Can you see D-Shy putting disclaimers right. left and center? Ati “it wasn’t on purpose, the devil made me do it?” Do you see how many people she traumatized? Wah!!! That page was OFF!!!!!!!! Then we have to have a committee of people who like and repsect her to - you know, find an omundhu strong to alleviate her condition. That whole John Donne for whom the bell tolls saga etcetera etcetera… we’ll ask Msanii to hook up a ka-podcast with —sing along with me “If my brother’s in trouble, I will always help him out… If my brother’s in trouble so am IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” - ebu KM, keep clapping and stop taking the hottest ones for yourself… this is serious business.

Halafuuu…LOOOOOL@ ’steady’…me I was laready picturing sa flaccid one like now aje? woii, can you say ED?
Woman, you is mad!!!

Halafuuu, ngege ni nduu?

ngege ni samaki sweetie baby. As for the alien chuma-hiu near mouth activity?! Ta-imagini you’ll still see like on the first niniyo someone shaking stuff near you like “hook it up” (or even asking) eh…. tiga mbaki kanda… Not happening … I don’t know you like that ( I know…. I know, I actually do know him like that– but you know… not really)…

Too late!!!! *dancing on one foot laughing* You are too late— it’s imprinted in my memory!!!

You know a guy called…. what’s that guys name, nappydiatribe? Yeah him. You guys are a match! Ati you have to steel yourself before you dive in? LOL

A guy pal of mine once told me how he thinks sex is dirty and gross and I sat there wondering how much I’d get from Mathare for him.

But now that I think about it, I will not put a man’s dick in my mouth unless its steady AND I approve of his hygiene tabias. Kwanza there’s that musty smell balls get after a day cooped up in briefs!! YUCK!!!

Woi, woi, woi!!! Ati steady!!!! You know how as tois we used to say “Muigai has steadied” and then stare at the poor guy who had his hands in his pocket to hide the ensuing tenting ha! ha! ha! From now on, I will attribute this statement to you. He he he he he he … Is this what they calla fredian slip? As for musty balls - yeah… they be funky! and very not near my mouth (or other areas… my youknowwhat is a pet. It’s only used to nice things that are clean and happy! It’s not for working– it’s for petting and purring and staying in the house. he he he ati steadied!!!

On the same vein, si pussies really smell like ngege? No? Oh ok, just me then.

I was told this ka-joke once ati “how do you confuse a blind lesbian?’ Answer: tell her to find her partner in a fish market. I know– not worthy. But here’s one more… After Eve is created, she’s showering in the sea. So God asks Adam- ebu you where’s your squeeze? And Adam say’s ‘hitting a shower” So then God says “Oh no!!!! Now all the fishes will smell like her”

*thank you, thank you. I will be here all week”
About that maggots thing, I will NOT touch it!

Halafu kamum,I also cannot stand people who do not close doors SHUT behind them….I Know! I do wake up at night to close doors, wipe coffee stains, clean the house, straighten the bathroom rug….etc. Sigh!

About strokes….ngai, dont make me pick that up cos me i feel nuthing!
LOOL@ ‘OK. lets do this”.

How U be babe?

Me be fine sweetie kwanza come here ((((((KM)))))). that’s to make up for not being a good friend jana when you were sad and all Then I’m so laughing at jamaaz lock when he wakes up and finds you cleaning toothpaste stains and closing doors in all your glorious nudity! I so know how that happens. You wake up to go close the bathroom door, you notice the toilet seat is up, you put it down, wipe the toilet seat, see toothpaste on the sink, wipe it off, notice that the faucets look a bit un-shiny.. next thing you know, you have windowlene a lesso and you are wiping down the front door at 2.37 in the morning.

*sigh*