Cashier: Would you like to try one of our combos
Alexcia: I want the number 1 (in kenya) May i have the number 1 please (in America)
Cashier: How would like that?
Alexcia: Ha!
Cashier: How would like that?
Alexcia: Ha! Just give me everything?##?!
Cashier/Server: Is that like “well done” or medium done…
Alexcia: Ha! well done
Cashier/server: What kind of cheeze?
Alexcia: Ha! just give any
Cashier/server: Do you mean like swiss, american?
Alexcia: Ha! American
Cashier/server: Would like that with chips… ??? Onions??? Mustard????,
Alexcia: WTF wacha kumiaibisha (in kenya), yes please (in America)

After you eat you ask for the check which is your bill. and you pay by cash or credit. Of course you HAVE to tip.
When you want to “bank some money” you make a deposit, and when you get money from your account you are actually making a withdrawal. The casher who is actually a teller will ask you “will that be all” before s/he hands over the mbesha (hell no, not until you give me my money)

-When someone is well dressed you say:”You look sharp” not “You look smart”

-When asked how you are doing, You have to say “I’m Good” not “I’m Fine.”

-You don’t say “I feel like throwing up.” more like “I’m gonna be sick.” Took me a minute to understand that.

- A napkin is what we call serviette, toilet roll is tissue paper.

-Paper bag is the brown bag, Plastic bag is what we call paper bag.

Lakini, eh, I have this jamaa dude amigo of mine who errrm, well, his githungu is a bit spanish-ised, so eti, when he wants to say the equivalent of “i swear”, haki ya mungu/ ma ngai! to you and me, , he says “I promise to you”. Lool, file that under Fifi’s power kamum!!
Halafu….arrrgh, wacha I rarua the guy a little bit more…this time we were having a conversation, and he meant to say “that your prerogative”, he said “thats your privilege”, ehe, yes, and I love him to bit mimi, smh, I wonder who does grammar checks for his considering his job haki….Me, yes, in a basket to hell, I converse with him just for laughs, yes, this might digress to how he pronounces peach as peash, touch as toush (as in tawsh).

Yes, I’m on my way out.
tiga kunyingata ninjui fara, pris.

Halafu, i sense there in a good bye, karibu nyumbani ukifika…yaani I’m the only one holding the kimwaki for you here, kina Ms K they went to play tapo, mwehehe, so yeah, I’m with kimuri, aka, keeping the fire alive aka, the guys who walked from coasto to thogoto with a burning torch 9not tawsh, torch) yeah, ok…I’m out.

Hugses sweetio, I hope you are keeping wellest and have a fabulous holiday and abundance, yaani, thy cup shall filleth and overfloweth kind of blessings hun.

si you hit me on e-mail before you do so.