P is for Private
of the non-commi’d type.
While both Kenyan men (Km) and Other men (Om) all name their private parts, the difference is that Om are more, shall we say, self effacing about this than Km. I distinctly remember a conversation that I my friend told me about a time when she was being ‘tuned’ by an Om and he goes:
Om: So how say we go to my place, play a little music, see my etchings and meet Little Will?
Kenyan chick(Kc): Oh you have a son?
Om: No, no, no. I want you to meet mini-me
Kc: Heh? (you know- that sound that all Kenyans make indicate surprise irrespective of socio-economic, racial, ethnic or gender differences)
Om: Yes. Little Johnny wants to come out and play
Kc: Pan? (pardon)
Om: Errr pan what?
Kc: Come again
Om: Pan?
See, it’s not that chick was dumb, it just was outside her total realm of consciousness that a guy would willingly use a diminutive to refer to his privates. I mean, look at Km, even when working with those who like Livondo, may struggle a bit with lugha, they still have the wherewithal to call it:-
- “She-nay-key” (snake). It has to be shrubbed to show how similar to Omieri the damn thing is)
- “Dee-no-Shah” (dinosaur). Kwanza this one slayed me as the alleged source was a ka-mzee who’s only knowledge of extinct animals was solely focused on asking what the biggest was and then naming his errr… animal, after it).
- Or if you stroll into the vernacular, it’s njũgũma (club) and not well, you know kamũtĩ (small stick). You see the pattern no?
But speaking for Kc’s, the only thing that you want near you named after a miniature-anything, is at most John Obongo Jr.
But!! But!!! The cool thing about Om calling Omieri “the tapeworm” is that one is often pleasantly surprised after the reveal so I gotta give Om 1 point for pleasant discoveries.
Km on the other hand, know that nothing cools the ardour more than imagining playing needle in a haystack (if one does not embrace the Brazilian lifestyle) or just imagining oneself looking for tools. So wapatie 2 points. However, just because you’ve used the augmentative to name THE object does not mean that is a multiplication sign. So, for occasional below the line marketing, I’ll take away one point from Km.
This round
Om: 1
Km: 1
dayum! eeeh? whatever happened to subtlety? take a girl out for dinner and perhaps a movie, and hope you may be asked up for coffee as you deposit her at her doorstep.
)
It used to be “let me see your African masks” or some such etchings related thingie but now? Kaf’ kaf’ jo! Watu hawana ungwana.
Comment by aegeus — November 16, 2007 @ 1:18 am
LMAO…They giving wendas pc’s now?
macs
Comment by msaniixl — November 16, 2007 @ 10:05 am
“The Tapeworm”? Did u really have to go there? OK (TMI) someone I know used (probably still) call his “The General” - (ati it is obvious why with the kofia - ok work the rest out for yourself).I still ‘die’ when I think about that (and make a point of mentioning that to him so I can ‘die laughing’. And he is a KM LOL
Why does ‘it’ have to have a name again?
ati cause it sometimes thinks independently so it’s s separate individual. Needs a distinct ID. Ati general? Haiya. That’s kinda fresh though I got a verrra verra strong mental picture
Comment by Guessaurus — November 16, 2007 @ 9:42 pm
I’m still stuck at standard 3: “thingie.” Though, this post does remind me of the ridiculous number of articles on “vajayjay.”
Howzit in your part of the world?
I like that word “vajayjay” though. You sound oh- so worldly and “sex in the city” hip no? In touch with your sexuality— but not 4 letter worded coarse. “Vive la VaJ.J!”
Comment by Keguro — November 17, 2007 @ 9:29 pm
Mo to the Q: Can the good Prof Keguro find it in his good good to giveth us where he is at?
right here http://gukira.wordpress.com/ Talking about airbrushed p.orn. I kid you not
Comment by Guessaurus — November 17, 2007 @ 10:51 pm
LMAO. Its now called Bakora.
As long as it’s not Kijiti y’know? Or kidole. It has to be mguu or bakora. Sasa Udi?
Comment by udi — November 19, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
who in hell gave you a mac? hebu tupa it in the trash haraka, alafu put it outside your house…it shall be collected shortly…hheheh!! dont macs rock? i know, not related to post.
Comment by aegeus — November 19, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
Little johnny/willie? Nini hiyo? And tapeworm? yikes! gives a crawly feeling to it.
Whatever happened to do you want to come up (or down) for a cup of tea/coffee?
Comment by prou — November 20, 2007 @ 8:40 am