Randomly randomized randomness
He’s so cute!!!!
What is this thing- the ornamental man? I think it offends my utilitarian miro sensibilities. Maybe because my aunt and mum used to chide us if they ever heard us referring to an “ugly guy”. ( Ingalau I think those words fugly sijui mugly are too deadly). I distinctly remember my aunt asking me “Can a guy be ugly?” with a lot of surprise. I think that notion kinda makes sense as it’s (those miro sensibilities again) akin to caring whether the tread of your tyres sawa or not? Ingalau there’s this too. So I’m still shocked at when otherwise rational (Kenyan!) mamas would sponsor, much like Freedom from Hunger Walk, a guy whose role in life is to prettify your household. Me? I come from a place where the first question folks ask prospective suitors is “So what do you do?” (just before ‘Who is your mother?” 
). So a man is a hunter- or gatherer. A herder or a farmer. A fisherman or a cook in a hotel. A tinker or a tailor…you get the drift.
My $0.02.
So if you are (or were) a chick, would you date a guy whose role in your life was to bring joy and beauty in your life?
My fav’rite things:
- Hirsute arms and 5 o’clock shadows
- Chipotle chillies in adobe sauce (yummm in a mango salsa salad kwanza)
- Hot towels in winter
- Big-ass ice cubes (oft imitated, never duplicated)
- European movies. OK let me quit fronting. 90% of them are quite sawa and these movies are acclaimed for a reason. It’s because they’re good. 10% of these, IMO are for the floss. The accents don’t hurt the cause too- with the exception of Scandinavian ones as I think that the cadence of say, Swedish, makes Swedes sound like deranged retards. Or shock and horror, a Dane! Speaking English? Drives me absolutely batty! Then, how come accents are gender specifically sexy? I present various sexy exhibits:
• Black chick with a real English accent. Not the plummy English accent though—reg’lar ones. Guys though just sound weak
• An honest-to-God Southern drawl is a guaranteed pantee droppa no? But!!! jamaaz only though. And not ati that good ol’ boy sathern accent. The one for men who open doors for you and call you “Ma’am”
• A genuine Caribbean accent (uni-sexual)
• Tanzanian kiswahili is just too, too hot. A guy can be lambasting you at the East African diaspora meeting and you’re just letting those words wash and to your surprise you find yourself oddly aroused. No? Just the odd amongst us? Oh well.
• Irish brogues
Bata & Tiger fetishes:
Dr. K (I slay myself) thinks that Kenyans are bila foot fetishes because of the abundance of akalas and bare feet people. Not convinced? Feast your eyes on this one exhibit. Now I dare you to go forth and suck thee some toes now.
Could it be that you’re addicted to blogs?
Mutumia that exhibit…definately off-putting.
Comment by Farmgal — December 7, 2007 @ 3:16 pm
I love me a tanzanian, ugandan accent…no tires around her waist, just on my bike…no foot fetishes…in my lifetime i have encountered SCARY feet…sigh….i still love pretty feet…pretty hands…
85%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?
Comment by aegeus — December 8, 2007 @ 3:10 am
Everyone else’s accent 10 - Kenyan accents 0! Sigh, it’s hard to be a Kenyan man. To add to this, unless you are talking about them very yellow chaps, we dont get 5 o’clock shadow; our whole face is a 5 o’clock shadow.
Now if we combined all those accents into one man, wouldn’t that be your dreamboat? My dear, there is a great saying; there is nothing like an ugly man with a big wallet. As for the pic, I am not going to look at it; I have to eat soon.
Let’s not even talk about blogging addiction shall we……
Comment by acolyte — December 8, 2007 @ 8:14 pm
Jiggers, need I say more? So, when a certain famous person starting owning the singular of that name, me I was very shocked. Was he a burrowing, itch-inducing, irritation-bearing kind of creature? Really!
I believe in decorative people. In fact, if you know any nonegarians who are blind and want to get married, hook me up.
Comment by Keguro — December 9, 2007 @ 1:16 am
I stand patriotic and defend teh Kenyan accent against some W. African ones. Kenyan accent is not 0. We speak the queen’s English better than the Tz guys not to talk about our native toungues, and well, some spiritual toungues.
Comment by Bomseh — December 13, 2007 @ 5:58 am
My uncle was very proud of speaking The Queen’s English. I’m yet to understand why we would take such pride in proving that we were colonized more effectively than, say, the Tanzanians.
It’s a little strange.
Comment by Keguro — December 14, 2007 @ 1:22 am